


Hallelujah

by crabrangoony



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6267268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabrangoony/pseuds/crabrangoony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After attempting suicide, Kate Marsh has returned to Blackwell Academy to resume her studies. Everything feels different: teachers are more lax, her peers are weirdly nice to her... and she thinks she has feelings for someone. It wouldn't be such an issue if not for the fact that this someone was Max Caulfield. Max and Kate became friends once Max started attending Blackwell, but now, Kate might want to be more than friends. Follow Kate through this internal struggle while she explores just how much she can learn to love herself as well as someone else. Does Max feel the same way? How will their peers respond?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adorkable

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is not my first fanfic, but it is the fist one that I am posting to AO3. I'll do my best to stay true to the characters as well as keep a regular schedule of updates. Thanks for clicking!

Kate laid in her bed, the early morning sunlight seeping through the blinds of her window. The room was cold and quiet save for the sound of Alice rustling in her cage. It felt weird to her, being back at Blackwell after everything that happened, but she knew her return was inevitable. She had time to work on assignments she missed and couldn’t make up for during her time in the hospital. Principal Wells said she could have a few days out of class to adjust. She was grateful for that, though she didn’t necessarily like the cushy treatment. She missed her desk, her violin, her rabbit. She was also grateful for the fact that Max had kept her bunny company while she had been away. Max…

 

Max was someone that Kate always appreciated, but now… she felt something for that girl that she felt for no other student at Blackwell. Their friendship took form during their first month at Blackwell and it expressed itself through tea and gushing about cute animals on the internet. She knew those things about them would never change, but Kate couldn’t help but feel their friendship taking to a new level. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew things were… different. They felt closer. They _were_ closer.

 

It was early, but Kate decided to get up; she had always been a morning person. She sat up slowly in her bed, yawning and stretching as she did so. She swung her legs over the side and got up to set Alice free. The rabbit hopped out of its cage after a moment of nibbling on hay. Kate stretched once more, looking around her room this time. It was an environment that now felt familiar and foreign at the same time. When she first came back from the hospital, the room felt weirdly tidy: her clothes were sorted and in hampers, the books straightened, the bed made. She knew it was Max. Who else could it have been? She didn’t think anyone else cared enough to do the cleaning, nor felt inclined to make her feel more welcome in her own room.

 

There she was, thinking about Max again. Max never left her mind completely after that day on the roof. Max saved her, after all. ‘ _I did no such thing,_ ’ she once said. ‘ _You saved yourself. I was just riding along._ ’ Even before that day, Max was a thought that rattled around in her head more than she’d like to admit. Kate had even caught herself gazing after the doe-eyed brunette in class sometimes. What could it mean? Was there more to this feeling than she knew? Was it love?

 

Love. Kate shuddered at the thought. She’d never had feelings for anyone before. Even more than that, feelings for a _girl_ ? It went against everything she was raised to believe in. Homosexuality was a sin, according to her mother. Kate always thought God loved all, and it didn’t matter who you loved because love was great. She often recalled a line from the Bible: “ **Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.** ” It was 1 Peter 4:8. But it didn’t matter what Kate remembered from the Bible because her family did not feel the same way.

  
  


After a shower, Kate felt a little better. She decided to pick up her violin and give it a try. She could tell that it hadn’t been touched in her absence; its case was covered in a layer of dust. She rosined the bow and tuned the strings. She forgot about how much she missed playing. Her sisters brought her some CDs to listen to in the hospital. Kate had a soft spot for Mozart and listening to his masterpieces only deepened her longing to play again. She began Symphony No. 40, in G minor. She had a little trouble getting started, but it didn’t take long before she fell back into rhythm. She didn’t have the entire piece memorized as it was quite long, and began to stumble after several minutes.

 

“Well, shoot,” she said to no one in particular, setting the instrument down. “Where is my sheet music?” Kate began to leaf through one of her music binders when she heard a knock upon the door.

 

“Kate?” She couldn’t make out who the voice belonged to.

 

“Yes, who is it?”

 

“It’s Max, silly. May I come in?” Max - Kate’s heart fluttered. ‘ _Please stop, I don’t need this right now_ ,’ she thought to it.

 

“Um… yeah, it’s unlocked!”

 

She watched the door give way to reveal a familiar blue-eyed beauty on the other side. “Hi,” Max greeted, her voice still doused in sleep. “I thought I heard you in here.”

 

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

 

Max’s eyes grew wide with panic. “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant- “ she sighed, hand over her face. “I missed that sound, you playing. That is what I meant.”

 

“Oh…” Kate could feel herself blushing. “Thank you. I didn’t think anyone did.”

 

“Hey,” Max approached her, hand out with caution; it was akin to the way one would approach an animal peaceably in its natural habitat. “A lot of people missed you. I missed you, so much.”

 

“I missed you, too, Max…” Kate pulled her friend into a hug, partly because she meant those words but mostly because she didn’t want the girl to see the color of her face.

 

After a minute of of this, Max pulled away to say, “So how do you feel about grabbing some breakfast with me today? Feel free to say no?”

 

“I would love that, Max.” she replied through a smile. Max smiled back at her and nodded.

 

~~~

The pair high-tailed it to the cafeteria and got waffles. They made plans to take the bus into town sometime that week, pay a visit to their favorite tea shop. Kate showed Max some of the drawings she worked on while she was in the hospital.

 

Max pondered the art with appreciation. “Kate, these are wonderful. I remember seeing one picture when I visited but these…” she looked at her. “These are amazing.”

 

Kate could feel herself getting warm again. “Oh, please. I’m not that great.”

 

“Are you kidding? You could probably draw a landfill and it’d look amazing.”

 

“Okay, Max.” she laughed. “You’d still do the photos for me, right?”

 

“I’d be honored to, Kate.” She grinned like a Cheshire cat at the sound of her name. ‘ _Goodness, Kate. All she did was say your name. Get a grip,_ ’ she thought. She tried to tone it down, but she couldn’t help it. “Getting a little pink there, aren’t you?” Max poked her in the cheek, giggling.

 

Kate swatted her hand away. “I am not! It’s just… warm in here.”

 

“Whatever you say, O Princess of Bunbuns.”

 

She laughed. “Max, you’re cute.”

 

Max made a gagging sound and took another bite of her waffles. “You’re the cute one, Kate.”

 

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “I’m just sad and covered in rabbit hair.”

 

Max paused, studying her as if to make some sort of verdict. “That sounds pretty cute to me.”

 

“Yeah, well,” Kate was flustered and sweaty. “You’re adorable!” she blurted out before she could think of a better comeback.

 

“Great reply. I have no idea how I will ever recover from such harsh judgment!”

 

“I tried!” Kate rolled her eyes at the brunette trying not to choke in her waffles.

 

“Besides, I think a better word would be ador _k_ able.”

 

Kate thought about it for a moment: Max was, indeed, a dork. A cute dork. “Then, it is decided - I am cute and you are adorkable.”

 

“I think I can live with that.”

 

 

After breakfast, Kate went back to her room to work on assignments she missed and Max met up with Warren in the science lab. Not even ten minutes after saying goodbye, Max sent her a text:

 

 **Max:** It was so great seeing you today. I can’t wait for our adventure. Let me know if you need anything? \\(^-^)/

 

 **Kate:** I loved seeing you, too! I can’t wait either and thank you. I will let you know. Promise. TTYL <3

 

A heart. ‘ _Why did I do that?_ ’ Kate thought to herself. She flopped backwards onto her bed and groaned. She had no idea what was happening to her. ‘ _Why me?_ _Why now? Why Max?_ ’ Someone shows her true friendship and concern once and she catches feelings. ‘ _Maybe this is just what it feels like to have a really good friend,_ ’ she wondered. ‘ _It’s not like I would know that feeling._ ’ But she had friends like Stella and Alyssa. She had friends as a child, boys and girls alike, and she had never felt this way about someone. She wanted to spend all of her time talking to Max or just being around her. She wanted more of her. She wanted to do homework with her and watch Max play with Alice. She wanted to hug her and never let go. She wanted to see her sky-blue eyes and kiss her on the cheek and let her know that everything was okay…

 

Kate realized that she just thought about kissing Max. She sat up, burying her face into her hands. ‘ _This can’t be real_ ,’ she could feel her insides turn. ‘ _I can’t want something like that._ ’ She had always been part of religious groups at school. She was even part of one now, and it had a big emphasis on abstinence. That was what started all of this in the first place: she was bullied not only because of her faith, but because of what she thought was right… Kate Marsh, lying in her bed as she daydreams of kissing Max Caulfield. She’d be bullied all over again if people knew this about her.

 

‘ _What am I to do now?_ ’ She already had to see a therapist for trying to kill herself, but her family sat in on those sessions sometimes because they are part of the healing process. She wouldn’t dare speak a word of romance in front of her mother, regardless of whom her feelings were for. Kate looked over at her rabbit. Alice was flopped over, laying against a wall of her cage.

 

“Alice, do you like Max?” She asked the furry creature. She watched, as if the rabbit were actually going to respond. “Who am I kidding, she fed you. Of course you like her.” Alice got up, twitching her nose and hopping a little before moving to drink from her water bottle. “Oh, maybe you do like her.” Kate commented. ‘ _Maybe if I work on my book report, I can take my mind off of this._ ’

 

Kate sat at her desk and opened her laptop. She had part of her work saved from working on the assignment in the hospital. She retrieved _The October Country_ from a stack of books in front of her. She opened it and a sticky note fell out; it was from Max borrowing the copy. It read:

 

“ _Kate,_

_Thank you so much for letting me borrow this! I will have to buy myself a copy so I don’t have to keep asking for yours. I think I folded some of the pages by accident and I’m sorry. Let’s meet up and talk about this sometime? If you’d like to._

_Your friend,_

_Max_

 

“Darn it.” She called out to no one in particular. She closed the book and laid her head down on the desk. She looked over at Alice once more. “What do you think I should do, Alice?” The rabbit continued to nibble on a strand of hay, ignoring her hazel-eyed owner’s question. “Are you trying to tell me to ignore all of this?” No visible response. “Maybe you’re onto something, little one. Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away.”

  


And so, Kate did just that. She tried to, anyway. It worked for a day or two while she avoided all contact with Max. She’d listen for her to leave and enter her room, and time it so that they never ran into each other. However, her “sick days” ran out and it was back to classes and people. Seeing as she had art with Max, she could no longer be avoided.

 

Kate slunk into the classroom, nervous about her first class back with everyone. A majority of her classmates had already expressed their relief once she returned to Blackwell, the most intense of which was actually Victoria Chase. She was one of the people that contributed to Kate’s suicide attempt, but she was now a concerned peer. She sat with Kate for a while, just the two of them, the first day that she was back from the hospital. It was weirdly nice. They had actual conversations about art, and food, and animals. It was nice to know that beneath the cool exterior, there was an actual person in there with feelings and ideas. Good ones, too.

 

She said hello to a few people, giving them a little smile before getting to her seat. Not even a minute had passed before Max arrived.

 

Max stood next to her desk. “Hey, Kate.”

 

“Oh, hi Max.”

 

“Have you been okay?” Kate gave her a quizzical look. “I mean… that was a dumb question. I’m sorry.”

 

She laughed. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

 

“Well… good. I’m glad.” Max beamed.

 

“I’m sorry that I haven’t really been around.”

 

Max leaned against her desk. “Hey, it’s okay. I know that it’s hard for you to be around people, to readjust to all of this. I might not get what you’re going through, but… I’m here for you, Kate. I’ve always been.”

 

Kate couldn’t help but smile; she had no idea what to say. Before she could, the bell rang and it was time for class to start. Max patted her shoulder before getting up and going to her own desk.

 

After class, Max caught her again.

 

“So, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight?”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah…” She fiddled with a string on her jacket and scratched the back of her head; she was cute when she got nervous. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I’ll understand. I just thought I would offer? In case you want company?”

 

“Well…” Of course she wanted to spend time with Max, but she didn’t have a clue how to do that without her feelings getting in the way of everything. “I… would like company, yes. I think. Your company, actually.” ‘ _Katie, behave yourself._ ’

 

Max lit up at the thought. “That’s great! What would you like to do?”

 

“I… don’t know.”

 

“Oh…” Max rubbed her neck. “I’m sure we can find something. We can go out, for a walk, get food, watch a movie…”

 

“Maybe we could watch a movie?”

 

“Yeah, sure! We can pick one later. If you think of one before then, let me know. What time works?”

 

“Is six okay? It leaves a few hours for homework and relaxing.”

 

“Six is great. It’s a date!” Max cheered. Kate could feel herself blushing. Max saw the look on her face and wasn’t sure how to handle it. “Oh - I didn’t mean it that way! I meant like a friend date!”

 

‘ _I wish you’d meant it the other way_ ,’ Kate thought to herself. But, she gave her _friend_ a weak smile. “Maxine, it’s okay.”

 

Max made a gagging sound. “Oh, Katie. Max - never Maxine.”

 

“Oh, Max. Kate - not Katie.”

 

“Why not?” Max asked innocently. “I think it sounds cute.”

 

“Hm… maybe it does.” Kate replied, trying to be coy. “It’s cute when _you_ say it.” Max blinked at her; she couldn’t decide if Kate were flirting with her or just being playful. ‘ _She couldn’t have been, no… Kate Marsh? Flirting with_ me _? No no no,_ ’ Max thought to herself.

  
“So, uh… See you at six,” she turned to leave. “ _Katie_.”


	2. Uncomfortable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post this update until tomorrow, but I caved. I was feeling a little inspired. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.

Kate spent the next few hours fretting about her “date” with Max. She cleaned her room, organized her books, and then laid with Alice to try and calm herself.

 

“What should I do, Alice?” The rabbit nudged her owner with its nose when Kate stopped petting her. “I can’t express my feelings. Can I? Should I? It feels wrong, but everything feels right when I am with Max. She’s always been so nice to me. She’s kind, she’s funny, she’s smart… She’s my friend. What if she doesn’t like me that way? What if I mess up and she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore?”

 

The rabbit flopped against Kate’s thigh. “I wish I could be that comfortable, bun. But…” she paused for a moment. “Alice, what if Max  _ does  _ like me that way?” The small creature nuzzled her hand. “It would make some sense. Right? But Max is nice to everyone. And she tries to make everyone feel good. How could she possibly like me when there are girls like Victoria Chase down the hall?” Kate spent a little more time with her pet before getting ready for Max to come over. 

 

She let her hair down in front of the mirror, carefully brushing out the knots. She stood there once she was done and just stared at herself. She never saw anything special about herself. She knew that she wasn’t unattractive, but she didn’t see why other people talked about how pretty or how “hot” she was. She didn’t want to be hot; she wanted to be inspiring. She wanted people to look at her and think, “There goes Kate Marsh - she makes me want to be the best me possible” or “Kate Marsh gives me hope for humanity.” She didn’t want to be “the Jesus freak,” or “the quiet one,” or “the girl that tried to kill herself.” She just wanted to be herself without caring about the bad things people would say about her. ‘ _ Remember, Kate - God is the only one whose judgment counts, _ ’ she reminded herself.

 

After changing into something more comfortable, Max was knocking. She only had to rap the door twice before Kate swung it open. “Max!”

 

“Kate!” She replied, just as excitedly. She threw her arms around the girl. ‘ _ I hope she can’t feel my heartbeat _ ,’ Kate worried silently. “How are you?”

 

“Better, now that you’re here.” She decided to just be honest. They were friends, after all.

 

Max was not prepared for that answer, but she embraced it. “You know that I’m always here for you.” ‘ _ I could melt right now. _ ’ Kate thought. She pushed the thought away from her at the same time that she pulled away from the girl.

 

“I forgot to pick a movie. Sorry.”

 

“Hey, no problem! We can pick one together, okay?”

 

“Okay!” 

 

Max followed Kate into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She approached Alice’s cage. “Hey there, little buddy. How are you?” She asked sweetly, seemingly waiting for a response.

 

“Alice has had a good day.”

 

“That makes me happy to hear.” She stood up and looked at Kate. “So, in the mood for anything in particular?”

 

“To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about it. Sorry.”

 

“Kate, is something wrong? You seem distracted.”

 

‘ _ Oh, you know, I’m just busy imagining what your lips would feel like on mine, _ ’ she thought to herself. She could feel her defensive wall crumbling under the pressure. “What?” She asked, trying to wave off the question. “No, I’m fine. So movies - maybe something funny?”

 

Max gave her a long look, but allowed the change of subject. “Fine with me if it’s fine with you. I have  _ some  _ movies, but Warren has a ton if we want a bigger selection.”

 

“Warren,” Kate repeated. “That boy would do anything for you.”

 

“Yeah…” Max trailed. “Don’t remind me.”

 

Kate gave her a quizzical look. “Is something wrong between you guys?”

 

“Well… not necessarily.” Max paused. “It’s just hard to have such a close friend when you know how they really feel about you, and you don’t feel the same way.”

 

“You don’t like Warren?”

 

“I like him as a friend. That’s it. I’ve tried dropping so many hints about it, but it’s like he just stares right through them. I’ve even tried talking to him about  _ girls _ . Still, nothing.”

 

“Girls?” Kate couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Max, are you… are you gay?”

 

Max appeared to be a little irritated. “No, Kate. I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. At least, I think I am. I have no idea.”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make an assumption.”

 

“It’s okay.” She looked down at the floor. “Hey… you’re not going to stop being friends with me, are you?”

 

“What are you talking about?” 

 

“You know… because I like girls.”

 

Kate laughed; it caught Max so off guard that she almost looked offended. “Max, why would I stop being friends with you over something like that? You’ve been such a great friend to me. You talked me off of the roof of a building. You took care of Alice while I was recovering. And all of those tea times we’ve had? You have no idea how much I needed some of those days with you. 

 

I’m not going to stop being friends with you because you aren’t straight. My family… they don’t agree with my opinion, but I feel that as God’s children, we are all loved. It doesn’t matter who you want to be with. It doesn’t change who you are as a person. And Max? Straight or not, you’re a really great person.” Kate could feel herself getting warm. She couldn’t even believe that she managed to say all of that without choking.

 

“Wow, Kate…” Max finally looked at her. “I have no idea what to say. Thanks, I guess. A lot.” She moved to pull her friend into a hug. It happened so fast that Kate flinched. Max pulled away. “Hey, are you okay?”

 

“I…” Kate cleared her throat. She wrapped her arms around Max and squeezed her. “Yes. I am very okay.” 

 

They stood like that for a while, Kate not wanting to let go. If she didn’t know any better, she’d have guessed that Max felt the same way. ‘ _ But that’s too convenient for me, right? For Max to come out of the closet but then also happen to like me? _ ’ When they finally stopped hugging, Max pulled out her phone to see if Warren was busy.

 

“So…” Kate started. “If you don’t like Warren, is there anyone that you  _ are  _ interested in?”

 

“I uh…”  _ Was Max blushing?  _ “Yeah, actually.” She looked away quickly, continuing to fiddle with her phone. “But there’s no way she feels the same, so I’m probably going to keep it to myself.”

 

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. Anyone would be crazy not to like you.”

 

“Oh, Kate. Don’t even.”

 

She wanted so badly to just say something to the brunette, but she did not. What were the chances that Max was talking about her? There were girls like Dana and Juliet. They were pretty, and generally likeable. Unless Max wasn’t telling her because she was ashamed of her feelings…

 

“Max,” Kate asked. “Is it Victoria?”

 

Max dropped her phone. “What?”

 

“Do you like Victoria? Is it her? Is that why you don’t want to talk about it?”

 

She scrambled to pick up her phone. “Um… sure?”

 

“Oh…” Here came the crumbling again. Only this time, it felt like her heart. “Well, aside from being a complete asshole, I guess I could see that. She’s very pretty. And talented.”

 

“Yeah… yeah, she is. She was so awful to you though.”

 

“Max,” Kate put a trembling hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I know just as well as anyone that you can’t control who you have feelings for. It’s okay.”

“Thanks Kate… but I’m still sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” She could see it now: Victoria Chase, in a big old steamroller, flattening her heart. After crushing what little confidence Kate had worked up in the past week, she then pictured Victoria hopping off of the steamroller and attacking Max with a flurry of kisses. She felt hot. She was getting upset over things that weren’t happening. ‘ _ Kate, pull yourself together. These thoughts aren’t okay. This is not okay. You need to calm down, _ ’ but she couldn’t.

 

“Warren said he doesn’t have a lot in the comedy department. It’s mostly sci-fi and horror stuff.”

 

Kate wasn’t even paying attention. “Sure!”

 

“Wait… so you want to watch something scary?”

 

“Oh… um, if you want to?”

  
  


Kate and Max ventured outside onto the lawn. Warren was waiting outside of the boys’ dorm with his magical flash drive full of media goodies. She wondered if, at some point, the video of her with the Vortex Club was on it. She shuddered at the memory - or lack thereof. The pair chose to have their movie night in Max’s room, mostly because snacks were more accessible and Max’s bed was more comfortable. They chose one of those cliche horror flicks with a group of teenagers and a serial killer; it was simple enough to follow.

 

“Do we need anything else?” Max asked her. They were side by side on the floor, Max’s laptop loading the movie in front of them.

Kate took a sip from her bottle of water. “No, I’m good.”

 

The first twenty minutes of the movie they spent making jokes about the characters and predicting who would die first. Once the plot started to pick up, however, both girls grew silent. Kate became hyper-aware of how close she was to Max: their arms were brushing against each other, Max’s knees pointed toward her. She could tell that Max wanted to lean on her.

 

“Hey,” she whispered. “You can put your knees on me if you’d like.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Max, having them hover there can’t be comfortable. It’s okay.” Max gave her a small smile as she slowly lowered her knees. They were now against Kate’s legs. She could feel her heart pounding. ‘ _ Katie, chill out. They’re legs. She’s trying to get comfortable. Don’t get all weird, _ ’ she tried to brush it all off. She kept fiddling with her hands, not knowing what to do with them. She planted them firmly on her own knees, which were dangerously close to Max’s legs since Kate’s legs were bent. Max’s hands were in her lap.

 

Two of the protagonist's friends were being chased through the woods by the killer. They got separated. One of the girls tried to hide, but how could she hide when she had no idea who she was hiding from? Then there came a jumpscare - the killer popped out from behind a tree and put a sword through her. Kate and Max both jumped, only Max’s hand overshot her own knee and ended up on Kate’s knee… and on Kate’s hand.

 

Max immediately moved away from her. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” She ignored how soft and warm Kate’s hand was.

 

“Max, it’s okay.”  _ ‘It’s so okay that you should do it again. And keep it there, _ ’ “We both got pretty scared.”

 

She laughed a little. “Yeah, we did.”

 

“Did you need me to hold your hand the rest of the movie, Max?” Kate teased.

 

“Oh, whatever.” She playfully shoved Kate’s knees. After that, there was a painful silence over the room for the rest of the movie. Kate couldn’t quite put her finger on it - did her joke upset Max? Was it better meant as a serious offer? She fought herself so hard in her mind that she didn’t realize the movie was over.

 

“So…” she started. “Is there anything else you’d like to do?”

 

“Kate, what kind of hostess would I be if I chose all of the plans? You’re my guest. I think you should choose.”

 

She patted Max’s knee. “That’s not fair. Are there any other movies you’d like to watch?”

 

“There are so many to choose from!” Max pulled her laptop toward her and re-opened Warren’s USB drive. “We could always pick a show and let it play in the background?”

 

“Sure.” Kate beamed. “We could maybe work on homework together?”

 

“That sounds like a great idea.” Max put on Doctor Who while Kate ran to her room to grab her things. She fished a binder out of her backpack and took her favorite pen. On the way back to Max’s room, she caught Victoria leaving her own dorm room.

 

“Oh, hey Kate. What’s up?” She greeted the girl that she inadvertently put into a hospital.

 

“Nothing,” she replied almost immediately. “I’m just with Max.”

 

“ _ Ooh _ , about time! Having a nice date?”

 

“That’s not funny.” Kate glared at her. 

 

“Whoa, I was just making a joke.” She frowned, but then smirked. “Besides, the only reason you don’t find it funny is because you like Max.”

 

“What? No, Victoria. She’s my friend.”

 

“Oh, Katie. You can be friends with someone and like them that way. Jesus isn’t going to condemn you because you think Caulfield is cute.”

 

“Leave me alone, Victoria. What could you possibly know about my faith or about my feelings?”

 

She came closer to the auburn-haired girl. Kate fiddled with her cross, out of nervousness. Victoria getting this close to her face was usually bad news. “Look - I know that I’ve been a complete bitch to you in the past and I am sorry. I can’t take back the things that I put you through. If anyone is going to hell for anything, it’s probably me. But just because I give most people a hard time and invest most of my time into myself, it doesn’t mean that I don’t notice what goes on around me. I’ve seen the way that you look at her in class, Kate. I know how much time you’ve been spending together. And you know what? She probably likes you, too. But you’re not going to know that if you never ask about it.”

 

Kate began to see red. “Oh, I asked. She likes someone else.” Now she was the one getting closer to Victoria’s face. She dropped her binder, papers escaping as it met the floor. “Someone that will never deserve a person as selfless and wonderful as Max.” She took a step back, and a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Actually? I’m not sorry. You’ve made a lot of my time here at Blackwell utterly miserable. I felt hopeless. I almost killed myself because of people like you. And then I didn’t, because of people like Max. So please don’t sit here and talk to me about Heaven or Hell or taking chances or how I look at someone in class because you don’t know anything about me, Victoria Chase. Not a damn thing.” Just then, Max came out of her room. The two looked at her, still wearing their feelings.

 

“Whoa!” Max interjected, stepping between them. “What’s going on out here?”

 

“Nothing.” Victoria announced, taking a step back and brushing off her cashmere cardigan. “Nothing at all, Maxine.” She turned on a heel and made her way out of the building.

 

Max put her hands on Kate’s shoulders. “She didn’t hurt you, did she?”

 

“I’m fine.” Kate snapped. She bent down and started shoving the papers back into her binder.

 

“Kate, what happened?”

 

“I said that I’m fine, Max!” She shouted, not realizing how loud her response was. Max back off, frowning as she watched Kate scramble to pick up her belongings. She stood up and paused, offering up a more calm response. “I’m sorry. I’m fine, I mean it.”

 

“Are you s-”

 

“Yes, Max. I’m sure” Kate was frustrated. She pushed past her, even though all she wanted to do was drop her assignments again and just drag her back into the bedroom to hold her. “Look, now isn’t a good time anymore. I’ll see you later.” Before Max could respond, Kate fled to her room and shut the door.

 

Max stood here, still trying to process what just happened. Except she knew - she heard what Kate had said to Victoria. Could it be, the almighty Kate Marsh had feelings for… hipster wallflower Max Caulfield?

 

She hoped so, because it wasn’t Victoria that Max wanted - it was Kate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. That took a turn, didn't it? I promise that the ride won't be too wild... or will it? Unlikely relationships, unlikely friendships, words from people you'd never think to hear. Stay tuned for the next update. It'll be a few days. Thanks for all of the support, and be excellent to each other.


	3. Approachable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I've some news for my lovely readers: I'm working on another story, besides this one. I'll put it up very soon. Probably before I finish this one up. I get stuck a lot, but I've been on a roll and I'm going to crank out as much as I can while I can. Things are about to get a little hectic. Thanks for all of the support so far. Without further ado, here's more Marshfield fluff.

Max didn’t hear from Kate for a few days. It’s not like this was a new phenomenon to her; this has happened more than once before. She saw her in class and in the halls, but chose not to say anything to her after the first day.

“I told you, Max - I’m fine. I just don’t want to talk today. Okay?” She said once in photography, although it sounded more like a growl compared to Kate’s usual softness. The words echoed through Max’s head like a cave full of sounds. A cave resembled most of how she felt nowadays: empty. Other words were trapped in that head of hers, too: ‘ _I’ve seen the way that you look at her in class, Kate._ ’ Those were Victoria’s words.

‘ _I could_ ask _Victoria,_ ’ she thought to herself. ‘ _I could also play in traffic, but I don’t do that either._ ’ Despite her doubt, Max felt that she was out of options. So, three days later, she went across the hall late one night and knocked on Victoria’s door.

“A moment!” She shouted from the other side. There was some shuffling, and then the door opened. Victoria was standing there in a pajama set that looked like it cost more money than Max’s entire wardrobe. “If it isn’t the Selfie Whore of Blackwell,” she grumbled, arms across her chest. “What do you want, Caulfield?”

“Hi, Victoria. Sorry for knocking so late.”

“Yeah, yeah. If you were sorry you wouldn’t knock. Now what do you want, before I change my mind and go back to this project? A picture? Photography pointers?”

“I, um…” Max scratched the back of her head, playing with her hair out of nervousness. “It’s about Kate, the other day.”

The hostile look slid off of her face and was replaced with one that resembled confusion. “Oh. Well… come in.” She stepped out of the way and motioned for her peer to follow her. “Shut the damn door, Caulfield!”

“Right, sorry.” She closed it quietly.

“So what about Kate? If you’re gonna come in here and ask me for relationship advice, you should be paying me for this.”

“It’s not like that, Victoria.”

“Then what, sex ed? While I appreciate the thought of you wanting to show our resident Jesus Freak the actual promise land, don’t go around thinking I know ways to make a girl c-”

“Victoria!” Max shouted. “No! You said that you saw the way she looks at me!” Victoria actually stopped talking, as if she meant for Max to finish talking. “How does she look at me? What did you mean?”

She smirked. “Oh, you selfie-snapping slut. You were eavesdropping!”

“Hey - don’t tell me that if you were me and Kate went out into the hallway and you heard _your_ voice, that you wouldn’t have done the same thing?”

“Hm… fair enough.” Victoria sat on the futon and waved Max over to follow suit. “It’s just that I noticed a certain gleam in her eyes when you’re around her. It’s pathetic, really. You’re like, Maxus Christ.”

“Not funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be! I may be one of the best students in this shit hole of a school, gracing you all with my beauty and intelligence on a daily basis, but I can only pay attention in class for so long until something comes up that I’ve already studied and I start to notice other things.”

“Like what?” Max knew that Victoria was smart, but that wasn’t exactly the quality of hers that most people had at the forefront of their minds when her name came up.

“Things! Okay? Go gather your own intel. It’d probably be easier for you anyway, since you’re right in there with the rest of the average student body.”

“Thanks… I think.”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “All right, hippie. I have shit to do.” She got up and opened the door for Max. “And you owe me one. Don’t tell anyone about this, Caulfield.”

Max returned to her dorm room. She wasn’t able to sleep; all she could do was think about Kate.

 

 **Max:** Hey Kate. Are you awake?

She wasn’t expecting a reply this late at night. Several minutes went by before she tossed her phone across the bed, but then she heard it vibrate.

 **Kate:** What

 **Max:** I’m sorry if I woke you up.

 **Kate:** It’s fine. U good?

 **Max:** I can’t sleep. I just wanted to say that whatever I did, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about whatever happened with Victoria the other day and you don’t have to talk to me about it at all, but please know that you can. I care about you, a lot. Goodnight, Kate.

 

It was Saturday. Kate looked forward to the weekend, this one in particular because it meant that she didn’t really have to see people. She wanted to see Max, but she still felt weird about everything. She caught Victoria staring at her in class yesterday. She also saw her eyeballing Max in photography yesterday. She wished that people would mind their own business, but that must have been impossible for Victoria to do. It was like she fed off of other people’s misery, like she needed to absorb it to maintain  power.

‘ _I need time to myself to ward off these thoughts,_ she thought. She was cleaning out Alice’s litter box. ‘ _But how could I think that after what I said to Max about acceptance?_ ’

After she finished taking care of her pet, Kate decided to clean her violin. When that wasn’t enough, she reorganized her bookshelf. Anything to take her mind off of everything. She thought that brunch would help so she decided to leave her dorm. As she stepped out, Max just so happened to be outside her door.

“Hi,” greeted Max, weakly.

“Hi, Max.” Kate replied.

“Is it okay if we talk?” Max asked. She could see the hesitation on her friend’s face. “Look, we don’t have to. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” She turned to leave.

“Wait.” Max stopped and turned to look at her. Kate opened her door and pulled Max in by the wrist. “What is it?”

“I just…” Max planned out everything that she wanted to say this morning, but forgot all of it once Kate looked at her. It was the first time that she’d looked at her in days. She missed those intriguing hazel eyes.

“Max, come on.”

“Okay, okay.” She adjusted herself to at least look confident despite feeling the farthest from it at that moment. “Kate, I know that these past few weeks have been really hard on you and I’m sorry. About all of it. About the video, the bullying, the depression, the hospital, and the other day. The last thing that I ever want to made you do is feel uncomfortable, or like you can’t be yourself. I care about you, Kate. I care about you a lot.”

She looked at Max suspiciously. “What are you trying to say, Max?”

“I’m trying to say that… well, I don’t know, really. All I know is that everything really sucks without you. Would you please, please, please talk to me?”

“I wish that I could, but this is more complicated than that.”

“Kate, I promise you, nothing is that complicated.” Max couldn’t think of a single thing to say. “I-I’ll prove it.”

“How?”

“How about I tell you something that I think is complicated? What if I share something personal with you?”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Max. Especially if it’s not something you’re comfortable with sharing.”

“That’s the thing, Kate… I’ve already shared it. It’s just that I lied when I did.”

“Max…” ‘ _Oh no, what is going on?_ ’

“Katie…” Max moved closer to her. Kate froze in place. “The day that I came out to you, you asked me if I liked Victoria. When I said yes, I lied… you’re the one that I have a crush on. I just got too scared to tell you that. I lied, and I’m sorry.”

“Max…” Kate had no idea what to say. She knew what she wanted to do- throw her arms around the doe-eyed girl and kiss her -but no idea what to say. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“I just said that I was scared. I know that things probably would have been easier if I didn’t lie. I’m sorry.” Max broke eye contact, disquiet apparent on her face. “Did I make our friendship weird?”

Kate gave her a small smile. “Max, it would take a lot more than that for you to make our friendship weird. It’s okay. Actually… there’s something that I’ve been wanting to talk to you about as well…”

“Oh?” Max answered, eyes hopeful.

“Yes… well… I’ve been struggling with some of my own feelings, too.”

“Have you?”

“I have, yes.”

Max looked confused. “What about?”

“They’re…” Kate got quiet. “They’re about you.”

“W-what about me?”

“I think that… maybe I might feel the same what about you?”

Max couldn’t stop the goofy smile creeping across her face. “You do?”

“I-I think, maybe, yes.” Kate took one look at Max’s reaction and couldn’t help but smile back. “But like I said, I don’t… I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like. I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Well,” Max’s expression softened. “How do you feel when you talk to me?”

“I feel… happy? Nervous, but happy. But talking to you has always made me happy.”

“Okay… how do you feel when you see me?”

Kate could feel herself starting to clam up. “I… I think I feel…”

“Try not to think about it, Kate. Just look at me, and tell me how you feel.”

Kate listened, and looked Max in the eyes. She felt… elevated. She felt like she could tell Max anything. In fact, she wanted to tell her _everything_. Despite this feeling, she often kept things to herself. She saved those conversations for Alice, and for prayer. She had always been this way and old habits die hard. With Max, however… when she saw Max, she felt safe. She remembered all of their tea parties, every piece of artwork they’ve shared, every meaningful conversation… she remembered Max talking her off of the dorm roof on that dreadful, rainy day.

“When I see you, Max,” she started, reaching for the girl’s hand. It was cold and a little sweaty, contrasting with her own warm touch. “I feel safe. You make me feel… when I’m with you, I feel less scared, of everything. I feel like, maybe… maybe I can handle things. I might not feel that way for very long, but you still make me feel it when I see you.”

“Well… good.” Max smiled, massaging Kate’s hand. “I have one more question.”

“And I have another answer.”

“How do you feel…” Max moved closer to her face. “When I… do this?” Their faces were but an inch away from each other. Kate could feel the ragged pattern of Max’s breathing, tense and unsure. She looked into the blue eyes that were fixed on her lips. She couldn’t look anymore; she closed them. And then she felt Max’s lips on hers. They were soft, the kiss gentle and light. It felt like Max was afraid if she kissed Kate too hard, she’d shatter, like touching a butterfly’s wings. Butterflies were what Kate thought she felt in her stomach. Max pulled away slowly, trying to gauge her reaction. Kate could tell that she was scared.

“Well…” Kate started, feeling herself sweat as her heart did somersaults. “I think… m-maybe we should… try again?” Max gave her a sly smile.

“That can be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, things start to pick up. I'll be updating again this week. Thanks for sticking with me, and be excellent to each other.


	4. Undeniable

She kissed her again, only with a little more confidence. There was more force behind this kiss, a force that wasn’t there before. Was she still afraid? Or was it gone? Did it disappear as Max put her arms around Kate? Kate didn’t know what to do with her hands. She’d never had to deal with this before… but even more than that, how could she think about something like that while Max Caulfield was kissing her?

 

Max could feel her freeze up. She pulled away. “Kate, did I do something wrong?” She asked, arms still around the girl.

 

“I… I don’t know?”

 

“Would you like to me stop?”

 

“I…” Kate wanted to keep going, but she didn’t know what to do. “Can I tell you a secret?”

 

Max smiled. “You can tell me anything.”

 

Kate paused for breath. “I don’t… I haven’t done this before.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Oh, no. I haven’t. I’m sorry,” Kate looked away from her. “You probably think I’m some prude.”

 

Max shook her head, a quiet chuckle escaping her mouth. “Katie, no! Why would I think that?”

 

“Everyone’s had a kiss by the time they’re our age, right? They’ve all done a lot of- things -by the time they get to this age. They’re all out doing them now. It’s all they do.”

 

“That’s not actually true, you know.” Max put a comforting hand on Kate’s shoulder. “We can do whatever we want, so long as it involves consenting adults. I am never going to do anything that you don’t want me to, Katie.” She smiled at the sound of that. Katie. She felt like she could trust Max. She’d been able to trust her with so many other things in the past few weeks, let alone since the first week of classes. Why stop now?

 

“I trust you, Max.”

 

“Great! Thank you.” Max beamed, making contact with her cheery hazel eyes. “So… would you like to keep going, or would you like to do something else?”

 

“Actually…” Kate took hold of the hand on her shoulder, cradling it between her own hands. “Could we maybe keep going? Just for a little while?”

 

“As you wish, Princess of Bunbuns.” With that, Max leaned into her once more. This time, Kate put her arms around the brunette’s neck. The kisses were light and sweet, like spring tulips, in a constant state of bloom as their lips met. 

 

Kate felt like she could stay in that garden forever.

 

~~~

They ended up on one of their infamous tea dates. There was a cute little shop in town that did teas and coffee. Max told her about it during a visit in the hospital and they made plans to check it out together once she came back to school.

 

Kate sat across from her at a window table, berry-blossom white steeping in a bone China teacup. It looked a little gloomy outside, but they had the clouds to blame for that. Kate didn’t mind – the day had been going so well that there could have been a tornado and she might not have noticed because she was so into Max and everything that the girl did.

 

“Kate?”

 

Her eyes snapped back to Max; she hadn’t realized that she’d been spaced out, smiling at the window for the last few minutes.

 

“Yes?”

 

Max chuckled. “You didn’t hear a thing that I said, did you?”

 

“No, I’m sorry.” She frowned. ‘So good at dates,’ she thought to herself.

 

“You’re fine. I was just talking about the tea cookies and asked if you wanted one? They’re those lemon ones that you like.”

 

“Oh!” Kate took one. “Yes, thank you!”

 

“You’re welcome,” Max shifted in her chair. “So… is it okay if we talk about this morning?” Kate hesitated. She wanted to, but what was there to say? What were they going to do? She wondered if Max were going to ask about the future of their friendship… ask about doing more than just kissing. Ask about being more than just friends.

 

“Well… I guess so. We must some time, mustn’t we? I just don’t know what to say…”

 

“It’s okay if you want to talk about it later.”

 

“No, no. It’s okay, Max. Go ahead. What’s on your mind?”

 

Max sighed. “Well… I like you. I like you a lot, Kate. At first, you were a friend to me. But then I felt something else, something… deeper? I couldn’t stop thinking about you. When you were on that rooftop I…” She paused. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t go into that. My point is that I’d really, really like to give all of this a chance if you would also like to.”

 

“Oh, Max…” 

 

“Like I said, only if you want to. I know this is confusing and weird and new, and exciting, and terrifying… but I am here if you want to try. If you end up wanting to stop, we stop. If you want to keep going, then we can. But we do it together.” Kate smiled a little. She remained silent for a moment, trying to think this through as quickly as she could. She didn’t see too many things wrong with just trying, like Max said.

 

“… What if people find out about us?” Kate inquired, nervousness in her words.

 

“If anything has anything to say about either you, or me, or us,” Max reached across the table and stroked Kate’s hand gently with her own. “I will make sure they are sorry for being hurtful.”

 

“I don’t want any trouble.”

 

“I don’t either. Look,” Max was holding her hand now. “This is new and scary. I get it. I might not understand everything that you’re feeling, but I think I can, maybe a little. Let’s say that we decided to start seeing each other – some people are going to be okay with that and some people are not. Well, whether they think it’s okay or not, it isn’t any of their business who you decide to date or who I decide to date. The only people that matters to, are you and me. If anyone has anything to say about it… well, they will get theirs.”

 

“Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged.” Kate replied.

 

“What?”

 

“It’s a verse in the Bible. ‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged’ – Matthew 7:1,” Kate explained. “It means that you shouldn’t judge other people unless you also want to be judged. People are always looking at other people doing things that are wrong, but they never look at themselves when they are the ones doing wrong.”

 

“I… yeah,” Max didn’t know how to respond. “That makes sense, actually.” Kate nodded.

 

“Max… I think that it’s okay if we try.”

 

“Really?” Max couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You really want to?”

 

“It’s scary, and I’m not even really sure if this is what I want, but…” she smiled at the girl across from her, barely containing her toothy grin. “I want to try it with you.”

 

“I’m so happy to hear that!” Max exclaimed. She could have jumped for joy. She could have leapt out of her seat, grabbed Kate, and kissed her with everything that she had… but she did not. Instead, she squeezed Kate’s hand and said, “You don’t have to be my girlfriend or anything like that.”

 

“Okay… so, what are we?”

 

“We are… still friends. But we are trying to be something more?”

 

“Friends with… benefits?”

 

Max laughed heartily. “Oh, no. I wouldn’t call us that. We’re like… a trial run.”

 

“Like software?”

 

“Yeah, like when you want to use an editing program but don’t wanna buy it just yet. So, instead of buying it right away, you test it.”

 

Kate looked content. “I like that.”

 

“To the trial run?” Max lifted her teacup to Kate’s, pinky extended for extra fanciness.

 

“To the trial run.” Kate clinked her cup a little too hard and spilled tea on the table. “Oh no!”

 

The two laughed while they tried to clean up the mess.

 

 

Max and Kate returned to campus. Kate was nowhere near ready to be seen in public doing anything even remotely romantic with anyone, so they just walked together, side by side, talking and giggling. They didn’t attract too much attention. To the outsider, Max and Kate seemed like nothing short of ordinary… but to someone like Victoria, they seemed… more intimate.

 

She caught a glimpse of them walking up the hallway to Max’s room as she was leaving the bathroom. She didn’t let them see her; she just listened. There were some dorm room doors open in the hallway, but no one else was around. She waited to hear Max’s door before rounding the corner to return to her own room. She smiled to herself at the thought of Max and Kate as she went back to working on her photography portfolio.

 

Max was at her desk, surfing the web, and Kate was sprawled across Max’s bed, flipping through a photography book.

 

“When you publish a book of all your photos like this, I think I will be the first person to buy it.” She said to Max.

 

“Really?”

 

“Well, one of the first people. I’d like to be, anyway.”

 

Max reclined in her chair, stretching her arms toward the ceiling. “Oh, I don’t know, Kate. I don’t think I’ll ever be that good or important.”

 

“Hey, don’t talk like that.” Kate sat up. “Your photos are really amazing. If any of these people can do it, then why not you?”

 

“Because I’m a twee dork with a camera that is probably older than I am.”

 

Kate suppressed her laughter, but not well enough. “Okay, maybe you are, but I don’t think that should play a factor in how famous you could be in the future.” She hopped up and started pulling more of the books down. “I mean, have you seen some of these guys? Some of them look pretty geeky, but they’re still famous. I don’t think looks are important.”

 

“If they are, you’ll probably be more famous than any of us.” Max breathed quietly. 

 

“Oh?” Kate didn’t know how to respond to that other than blushing and letting out one puny, wavering ‘Oh?’

 

“Oh, yes.” Max answered, rising from her desk and coming over to Kate. “Maybe one of the most famous artists in the world.”

 

“Max, please.”

 

“What?” She asked coyly. “I’m just speaking my mind.”

 

“You lie, Max Caulfield.”

 

“And how would you know?”

 

Kate smiled. “You’re just being sweet on me.”

 

“Maybe I am…” Max sat next to the girl. “Maybe I’m not.”

 

“Maybe you’re full of crap.”

 

“Maybe full of tea and cookies, but crap? Never.” Max laughed. “Okay… maybe sometimes. But not this time!”

 

The couple spent the rest of the afternoon in Max’s room, talking about art, looking at pictures of animals on the internet, and flirting. It wasn’t until dark that Kate decided it would be a good time to return to her own dorm room and work on assignments without the distraction that is Max Caulfield.

 

Even if the door was just across the hall, Max still walked her back. She was trying to be nice.

 

“Did you have a good day?” Max asked before Kate reached for the doorknob.

 

“I did,” Kate replied, beaming. “I actually did. It was a very nice date.”

 

“A date?”

 

“Of course - wasn’t that a date?”

 

Max thought for a moment. “… I guess you could say that, yes. In that case, it was our first date.”

 

“Don’t dates end with a… kiss?”

 

“Hm… they don’t have to, but this one can. Only if you want it to though, Kate.”

 

Even though Max had always been very nice to her, she was still weary of the thought of anyone seeing them. She wasn’t ready for something like that. Kate looked around, making sure the coast was clear.

 

“I think… maybe… that would be okay.” 

 

They stared at each other, faces only inches away. Kate leaned forward a little and closed her eyes. Max leaned, too, and their kiss was short and sweet. Just as they were pulling away, the door to Victoria’s room opened. Kate jumped so hard that she was no longer in the doorway. Max leaned away, pretending to be looking at something on her shoe.

 

Victoria looked at them quizzically. “What, am I interrupting some sort of secret loser meeting?”

 

“Butt out, Victoria.” Max turned her attention to the blonde.

 

“Whatever, I was just going to the bathroom. Don’t let me ruin the goodnight kiss.” She teased, walking away from them. Kate looked white as a sheet.

 

“Katie, hey.” Max tried to reach for her hand, but Kate started closing the door.

 

“It’s okay, Max. I think that’s enough excitement for me today. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

“Of course, whatever you want.” Max smiled.

 

“Okay,” she smiled back. “Goodnight, Adorkable Max.”

 

“Goodnight, Bunbun Princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, AO3! I'm sorry that it's been such a long time since the last time I've updated... well, anything. This in particular. I will do my best not to let it happen again. I DO plan on finishing this story soon as well as the other work I have published to this website. I don't have a lot of ideas for new stories, but I am re-playing the game because I missed it a lot. Anyway, I hope that everyone has been good. Thank you so much for reading and stuff. It means a lot to me. :)

**Author's Note:**

> O Princess of Bunbuns. Gotta love Max. Anyway, I don't have anything set in stone for this, so I'll try to plan it out some more before diving in. I'll keep writing. Thanks for reading, and be excellent to each other.


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